Boom Chicka

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(This is not a paid endorsement.)

If you have ever tasted Boom Chicka Pop’s Kettle Corn, you know the meaning of the word addiction. I can’t buy them…I will eat the whole bag!

BUT I did buy this. I mean how could it be bad. It has all the key ingredients, such as dark chocolate, sea salt, and kettle corn! Plus the bag has all of those “good for you” labels.

Sadly the new popcorn trend failed to satisfy. It was a bit on the weird, too sweet side of food. Three members of our house like the concoction. For me, I will stay with the occasional bag of their regular kettle corn.

Gratitude

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We just got done with a series on Gratitude at our church. What an eye opener, a heart changer.

Gratitude…while on the surface I may seem like a thankful person, just peek under that surface and you’ll see just how much of a struggle it can be for me to truly be grateful.

One statement our pastor said stood out to me. It was this: “We don’t need to be grateful for the bad things that happen. We need to be grateful despite them.”

During the Sunday School series, I was challenged to start a journal of what I am grateful for. It took me a bit to actually do it, but once I started I had to limit myself to only write around ten a day. This is a pretty flexible goal and I haven’t written every day.

Added #47 today, which reads: “When plumbers show up earlier than expected. *When your toilet is clogged it is NEVER too early.” Can we all give a shout out to plumbers?! I tell you it was a chore to get anyone just to come by the afternoon. Everyone so super booked.

A few other random things I have written down are: Telephones, Birds, Indoor plumbing, My hubby, Our older kids who help watch the younger ones.

While I have only begun this gratefulness journey I have already begun to catch things that I can be, should be, and am grateful for. I am becoming more aware of the good things, no matter how small, in my life. I am hoping that this process doesn’t stay on paper hidden in my journal, but spills out into real life and I truly live with a grateful heart and attitude. The benefits are way too many to not be grateful.

What are you grateful for? Do you keep a journal of the things you are grateful for? If you do please share. I’d love to hear.

Good Parenting ISN’T Easy

The other day at my 60 something appointment since February I got two comments, in regards to our big family, ones that I get too often.

“It must be hard.” and “You seem so calm.”

First of all, parenting brings the best out in a person but it can bring out the worst as well. My husband and I are no more “special” than the next parent. And trust me we have been pushed to our limits more than our fair share on this parenting journey. So if you think I am calm…thank you. But really you are looking at the work God has done in me or you just caught me at the right moment.

Second, of course, it is not easy. Good parenting is never easy. Raising a child into a functioning, civilized, caring human being, one who knows they are capable of reaching their potential takes work. That is raising them from day one, with your DNA. Throw in someone else’s’ DNA and all that goes into raising kids from foster care and no it is not easy.

Today I see things in a different light. I used to take so much for granted when I only parented our bio kids. Sometimes it takes a broken mirror to show you just how important the little things you did really are. So many of the little moments, just talking about the everyday things like “Oh, look at that bird,” all of the small touches, the little everyday connections, if missing can really affect a child. Not to mention when bad stuff happens.

My husband and I truly feel no different than the next good parent trying their hardest. We have no special super powers (though I wish we did, they’d sure come in handy). We haven’t taken any over the top intense training to prepare us for this. A lot of it has been off the cuff parenting, a LOT of praying and yes, a lot of failing.

Moms and dads, don’t let the media or those around you pressure you into feeling like you are not a good parent. None of us are great…well okay there are those among us. None of our lives are Pinterest perfect. (At least no one I know.) We all make mistakes, we all yell at times, we all lose it and you know what…that’s okay. We are showing our kids that it’s okay to be human, to be less than perfect. It’s okay it mess up. They get to see how we handle failure, how we handle a stressful situation, a major plot twist in life. To me, that is what real parents do. If you don’t have laminated ABC’s on your walls…it’s okay. Your kids don’t care. They want your time and attention. They want to be bored and discover things on their own. They need to fall and figure out how to get up on their own.

Parenting isn’t for sissies for sure, but I really haven’t met too many of those, so you are more than likely going to be just fine as a parent. So pull up your big girl/boy panties and stand your ground, spend time with your kids, make the hard decisions (I have said this more than once, “I want you to be safe more than I want you to be happy.) Make your kids do chores, teach them to forgive, show them how to notice and accept others around them. Give them new experiences in and out of their comfort zones. Let them cry, let them feel pain, let them know the depths of messing up and being forgiven. Show them grace, give them order, hold them accountable.

Parenting is hard. Parenting sometimes sucks. But parenting is also very worth it.

 

 

 

Vacation

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We took a vacation, a road trip to see family in California and Arizona. It was LONG, it was fun, and the memories made were well worth it.

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Our Miss D’s (Nana) suitcase fell out of the cargo shell onto a very busy highway about here. Cabazon…115 degrees, SUPER windy, hence the windmills. Long story but her poor suitcase got shredded and it’s contents scattered all over the busy four lane highway. It wasn’t until some sensible drivers moved over that we were able to retrieve her belongings. Up until then I was at the mercy of the wind made by the speeding vehicles to blow her clothes my way.

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Family tradition, the Cabazon Dinosaurs. Since I was a little girl we have taken pictures here. Now all six of our kids have been here.

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Huntington Beach…never seen this young gent so happy!! Seriously. The beach was a hit for sure. If I could bottle it up for him I would.

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Tried new coffee. It gave Hubby and I a few minutes alone. Grateful for even mini-dates.

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Went to La Brea Tar Pits. I hadn’t been there since like fifth grade. Lots of fun. Very informative, which I eat up. The kids had fun spending some Christmas money at the gift shop too.

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IMG_2063Los Angeles, CA traffic!! No thank you.

 

IMG_2072Can’t tell you how much we all needed this little guy to nap and nap long.

IMG_2073Cousins and one uncle.

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Family in Arizona. Good times. So blessed to have a family who not only accepts our kids but sees passed their skin color and their past. Everyone of our family members has been so good to our kids. God is SO good.

19 Years Ago

19 years ago God blessed us with a son. During his birth, he got stuck. I stopped pushing and spoke in tongues then he greeted the world blue and in need of assistance. After 18 hours incubated in oxygen and having fluid sucked out of his lungs, I got to hold him. Got to look deep into his eyes, breathe him in. He was mine. All thumb sucking, drooling sweet disposition was mine.j-18i

All-in-all he was an easy baby and child. Only a few rough teen years. However, through prayer and consistency, we got through it. He Gave his life to Jesus and is such a wonderful young man.DSCN6941IMG_1070redo

He and his oldest sister always have had a close relationship. He has always had a funny sense of humor.scan005900898_04

A natural gentleman.Kids' own pics 4-28-08 01310425172_10203572688390440_6389493670496607464_n

Always had a way with animals, not matter how big or small. He seemed to always have “pet” bugs of some sort.scan0005

SUPER talented. He can draw, play instruments, act…his imagination knows no end.IMG_0994

When we made the decision to adopt we knew this is who he’d be. We knew he would be the best big brother to each and every child we added to our lives.IMG_0454

He is a very healthy eater. Not one for sweets.IMG_0722

Born part fish, he was either playing in dirt or swimming.Jared pool 6-24-08 021Jared making mines 6-13-08 008

This boy, this young man has brought so much joy into our lives. We are so proud of him, the choices he makes, the stands he has taken, and the person he has become. It is an honor to be called his mom.scan0004

ADHD + PTSD

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This sums up what living with and living with a child or two with ADHD looks like.

Peaceful? Not exactly. More like so exhausting you end up crashing on the floor. God knows I have left my heavily exhausted body imprinted on the floor many times. (Thank God for vacuums. They take away the evidence in seconds.)

Before our ninos came into our lives, and even awhile afterward, Hubby and I held onto the notion that ADHD was more of a lack of good parenting than organic, something “real”. Yes, they were hyper. Yes, they were impulsive, very impulsive. Yes, they were forgetful. Yes, they were…but we chalked it up to the neglect and trauma they had suffered through. It wasn’t until our 9-year-old (7 at the time) REALLY struggled in every area in school and our 13-year-old (11 at the time) had way too many signs that we had them tested. We had them tested for a number of things. Both came back with ADHD. Now our 13-year-old is NOT hyper at all. He is the quiet, mellow one in the bunch, but boy was he fidgety. He also had these “ticks” (before meds).

Fast forward to the present. After trying various different natural remedies, diet changes, and behavioral management techniques without seeing the change we needed we made the decision to put both boys on medicine for ADHD/PTSD. He started out being treated for symptoms of PTSD, without results. So we tried the ADHD route. This seemed to work great. Now he will tell you he can’t feel or tell if the medicine makes any difference. At all! More on this in a minute. Mr. Bubblewrap started out with ADHD meds with great results. He still forgets, is still impulsive, still pretty active, but it is now much more manageable. We ended up having to put him on PTSD meds as well. We call these his emo pills.

We are still doing behavior management and try natural remedies. These we would more than likely be doing with or without ADHD present in our lives. Our hope and goal is to eventually do away with the meds all together, especially for the PTSD. For now, this is where we are.

For now, we still remind, we still say focus a lot. We have also added a 20 min quiet time for Mr. Bubblewrap after school. This is not a punishment but a measure of prevention. He can have this alone time, quiet time to regroup, gather his thoughts, etc. before joining the family. It has really helped him make that transition from school to home life. He has even started setting the timer and putting himself in quiet time without being told. If you are familiar with kids with ADHD then you know this is huge. We also have him nap on weekends. He doesn’t have to sleep just have quiet time.

For this color coordinated closet organized mama, kids with such forgetful, disorganized behaviors have been hard. This level of unorganized lives doesn’t make sense to me. However, I too am learning, am adjusting, and doing what I can to help our kids. While ADHD type of behavior can be caused by the lack of good parenting, I am much less judgmental and have come to grips that for now the kids, heck, we need that extra help the medicine provides us.

My Little Helper

Love the toddler age, when chores are more fun than work. The General is in that stage. Loving his help and him getting independent. Whether it’s helping me with the laundry or attempting to make his own microwave oatmeal, cooling it off in the freezer or emptying the sweeper/vacuum he really loves to help. He amazes me all of the time.