A Rock and A Fossil

First, if there are still any readers out there, I apologize for the huge lapse in my blogging. This summer has proven to be a busy one. Funny thing is, when I take these blogging breaks I tend to get more followers. Wonder what that means?

Anyway, I am going to try to get back into the swing of blogging now that the kids are back in school.

First, one of my latest walks proved to be a spiritual life lesson of sorts.

Sometimes while going through our day or week, the devil sets up camp (or tries to anyway), lying in wait to strick. (Do you see the big snake lying in wait in the path below?)

If we are not diligent in our walk with God, listening to His still small voice, being sensitive to His holy spirit we miss the serpent right before us. The devil never loses focus. Due to my bifocals and all of the trip hazards (another post) I have to look down when I walk. Which can make it harder to keep a vigilant eye out for dangers a bit further around me. Thankfully, I didn’t miss this one.

The snake caused me to take a detour. I didn’t complain..I’d much rather that than risk passing the snake. On my walk, I also found this fossil. It is just like God to show Himself, show the beauty in the midst of life. To me seeing the fossil after the snake was God’s confirmation of His grace and protection.

Not only is the front of the rock full of His beauty, so is the back.

You may think I am reading too much into the whole snake rock connection, but not me. To me, this connection was much bigger than a snake and a rock. Many times throughout my life I have wondered where God was in the midst of my problems, knowing He was there, but not seeing Him when He was right there. For me, God was showing me that He is there, right there, in the midst of my life.

Well Worth the Wait

A little bit ago I officially became a grandmother!

There are SO many things I could write on this subject. So many directions this post could take but I will keep it simple. Or at least try.

Our eldest daughter and her husband tried for almost a year to get pregnant. She had two sisters-in-law get pregnant before her. Then as they all watched their growing bellies together, each of the sisters-in-law gave birth. Each having relatively fast labor and deliveries. After 3 days of being in labor and two hours of pushing…completely natural and drug-free, our Miss Bailey came a day late! Our daughter was so calm and strong through the whole labor and delivery everyone in the room were surprised and one nurse said she should do a video!

Being there and going through this experience, to me, brought my daughter and me even closer. Being on the other side of the birthing experience made me see birth in a deeper way. Women are awesome. We forget so much much of what actually happened during our children’s’ births. I peppered my hubby with questions after seeing what our daughter went through.

Dad did so good and helped our daughter stay calm and strong. So glad to have him by our daughter’s side. His love for his girls is one many pray for.

Our miracles this past Mother’s Day. To truly appreciate a miracle you sometimes have to go through loss and heartache. Without those hard places, none of our kids or granddaughter would be here today.

Grandma and our sweet grandbaby matching on Mother’s Day!

The General

When we set out on our adoption journey I honestly didn’t want a toddler. To start over. I hated potty training and had ZERO desire to do it again. The car seats, the messes, the sippy cups…the time and energy toddlers take. I am an “older” mom. There are 40 years between me and the General. But God had other plans. And we are thankful He knows better.

Our youngest man cub literally longs to be in charge, to be the boss in almost every situation. Hence the nickname, The General. While it has been challenging, we are leaning on God to teach us how to equip The General for the obvious call to leadership God put in him.

Here he is trying to negotiate bedtime with Dad (a former Marine, mind you). While we got a few good laughs, the General’s strategies didn’t work.

  This pose comes naturally to him, as he is ever ready to defend and protect. (Yes, those are flip flops on his shoulders.)

His independent nature overrides any fear or hesitation most of the time. Sometimes his sense of adventure + independent nature + lack of proper fear can = a nervous momma.

He LOVES Jesus and wants to preach one day. He has it all planned out. The general will stand in the back at church with the “Big Guys” who too feel called to preach and make plans to preach in each other’s churches. “I am just a kid” is not in his DNA. Here when we set up our first nativity scene he kept staring at Jesus and Mary. He had questions but most of all he wanted to make sure Mary and Jesus would be alright out there all night. I am telling you the urge to protect is very strong in him. It is so precious and enduring too. He has stood up to people in defense of others. He is also convicting quick to forgive.

Raising a leader is an honor while at the same time, challenging. Teaching when to lead, when to follow. When to be on top and when to support can be tough for a kindergartner, heck, to be honest, for some adults too.

No one wants to raise a dictatorial tyrant. (Seriously, he came out like this. Not even sure if he has ever seen Hilter, but by golly…) Thankfully, God put a sweet tenderness in the General to balance out his need to be the boss. He is ever ready to give hugs, compliment and encourage. He knows no stranger and EVERYWHERE we go people LOVE him. Out of all six of our kids, he is the most social. If you were to look up social butterfly you’d see his sweet face. Cannot wait to see what God has in store for him.

What are your tips on raising independent leaders?

 

Favorite Prayer Book

If you have spent any time with me personally, on my blog, on Instagram, etc. then you know I LOVE to read. I figure I’d share some of my favorites with you. First up, is one that I have had for years. The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartin. You can see one of her sister books The Power of a Praying Parent underneath.

As you can see, it is much loved. I try to go through this book at least once a year. Honestly, I can’t tell you if I have since we got the kids. BUT it was so comforting to bring it out and read its well-traced lines and speak its well-fought prayers again.

In a nutshell, Mrs. Omartin gives us 30 chapters of her life she has fought for in her life and the lives of others through stories that are laced with scripture and ends them very nicely with again, scripture filled prayer on that given topic. The topics include his work, affection, temptations, choices, etc. However, ladies be forewarned, she starts out the book with a convicting first chapter entitled His Wife. For many years I have covered my husband in these prayed and have learned to season my daily prayers with scripture and to actually take my concerns to God sooner than later.

If you are married, I encourage you to get this book. If your husband is a christain, if he isn’t, if he is struggling in any way, if he isn’t, your prayers can make a difference. Heck, I have prayed some of these prayers over myself. To me, this is not your average devotion or prayer book. Stormie’s book has much more meat to chew on than most.

These Two

When it comes to our man cubs (thank you for the phrase, Ruth from Gracelaced), these two are close. Our oldest and youngest man cubs. Though they are very different in personality they connect so well. Their imagination goes way beyond the others. They push each other and yet are each other’s safe place. Each is a leader, yet both are willing to follow the other. 14 years age difference may seem like a big now but I am excited to see this relationship grow. To see what God has in store for these brothers.

V.P.I.

Our youngest has had a bunch of medical procedures in his short life. You can read about  some of them in the Doctors catergory. One of them affects his speech. There is actually a video of him at the doctors here. (If you don’t like medical procedures or have a weak stomach you may not want to watch the whole video.) Velopharyngeal Insufficiency (VPI) is a failure of the body’s ability to temporarily close the communication between the nasal cavity and the mouth, because of an anatomic dysfunction of the soft palate or of the lateral or posterior wall of the pharynx. In layman’s terms when he says certain words he talks very nasally. The air and salvia come up when they aren’t supposed to. The note below is what the doctor (cleft palate plastic surgeon) injected, where it was injected and what our son has.

It was a relief to find out what was going on.

Here he is with the super kind nurse prepping him for his video and nasendoscopy. He did so well with it all. The doctor and nurse were excellent as well. Note: the tissue coming out of The General’s sock is his shin guard. He was pretending to be a baseball player.

Hubby, on the other hand, could not watch. After finding out that the General had VPI we scheduled the injection. Now, this was out of town and required an overnight stay. While The General loved the doctor he wasn’t having it when they called us back. When we were told to dress him in the little gown, etc. he lost it. We had to make things fun. It took him a very long time to get fully undressed and then dressed for the procedure.

Having a hospital, medical staff that has worked with children and makes everything less scary makes all of the difference. One sweet nurse brought in a little laptop and even found the exact movie he asked for!! So grateful for small gestures.

So with Teddy (a gift from the hospital) by his side and movie playing, he finally settled in for the long wait.

One other BRILLANT idea that every child should get is there “sleepy” medicine in liquid form! I love this place! We have had too many other places inject all of the meds through I.V. Nobody likes those, especially little kids.

Poor guy started to hallucinate from the meds…this fish on the wall were jumping out at us, the curtain was going to fall on Dad, etc.

He took many photos like this with my phone and this is probably just how things looked for him.

The procedure…well, it didn’t work. Next step, actual surgery. We meet with the doctor again and go over questions we have concerning the operation and see if we even want to go through it. There’s a lot to weigh out. Without it or a miracle (which we fully believe in and are praying for), he will always talk this way. But depending on the answers to our questions is this something we want to put our son through.

If you have ever had to make a hard medical decision for your kid or kids you know the depth of our emotions, our questions, and our choices.

As an adoptive mom, when health, cognitive, and or behavioral issues come up it is hard not to blame the birth parents. Some of the issues are obviously due to the bio parents others there’s no telling. As a mama, many times it takes getting on my knees to cool the mama bear in me, pull back by claws of bitterness, and anger, and give my kids and their issues to God. For He is the ultimate doctor, teacher, and counselor.

The Power of One

I try to stay away from current affairs on my blog but this one really hits home.

“13 siblings held captive…” has been all over the media. And rightly so. My first reaction was of course sadness and disgust. Honestly, I really didn’t want to hear more about. However, my curious nature got the best of me and I dove a bit deeper into the story. After learning just a bit more two other things struck me right upside the heart.

1. ONE girl…if it wasn’t for the ONE sibling escaping and notifying the police those poor children would still be existing in those unspeakable conditions. This hit very close to home and without going into much detail, our kids, many kids across our neighborhoods would still be in horrible conditions if it were for ONE brave child taking a chance, risking it all to get help. Those brave children are heroes in my eyes. They save themselves and many times their siblings from such depravity.
2. If it wasn’t for the number of children found would this be such a big story? To us, sadly, this is the reality. This is just ONE of the stories that happen every day whether we hear about it on the news or not. We would not have four of our kids if it were not for stories like this. I could go on about this but please, let me direct you to a wonderful post that says it much better than I could at Faithfully Fostering.

What are we to do about it? Do we treat it like any other disturbing news story and wish it away? Or do we do something about it? Maybe you can’t help those 13 kids (God knows they are going to need a LOT of support and a STRONG family). But you can look out for the kids around you. If you see kids marching back and forth in the middle of the night for hours (as one neighbor saw) or things of that nature, be the ONE to call the police. Be the ONE to become a foster and/or adoptive family. Be the ONE who comes alongside a foster family to support them. Be the ONE who will cry out in prayer for these kids and for families who take them in. Be the ONE who loves your kids a bit more and invite a neighbor’s kids over. Be the ONE who helps struggling parents, lead them to the ONE, Jesus. Don’t be the ONE who lets someone else take care of this problem.

 

 

Bailey Paige

In a short few months, we will be grandparents and get to meet precious Bailey Paige. Throwing their gender reveal was fun. Only I knew the gender, which if you know me when it comes to exciting news, it is hard for me to keep. But I did even with some folks who are very good at extracting information.I also have had the privilege to go to all of our eldest daughter’s OB appointments. Seeing her in the ultrasounds and hearing her heartbeat is so special.

 

My Absence

Yikes!

It has been WAY too long since I last wrote and I really wish I had a meaningful excuse.

When it comes down to it, it is really a combination of a bunch of things that have kept me from the computer and from writing, kept the inspiration low or non-existent.

• The holidays. Between, extra school and church activities, out-of-state family visiting, the kids being home, there wasn’t much time for blogging.
• Appointments!! I ended the year by logging in 167 appointments! That is just doctors and behavioral appointments. I was so hoping for a decrease this year, but I already have 12 this month. Now some of these have been nice appointments like going to see our grandbaby in the ultrasounds.
• Cleaning. Before and after the holidays always includes extra cleaning, doesn’t it?
• My mother-in-love. We have my hubby’s 85-year-old mom living in town for part of the year. While for most of her life she has been very healthy and needed practically no care, things have changed. Anyone who has cared for an elderly parent knows what I mean. Life just turns it’s focus a bit. Knowing that our time with her may be shorter than we’d like, I want to cherish her and that time more. Not rush through it all.
• Refocus. Speaking of focusing. I have really been spiritually refocusing on God and my relationship with Him more. Getting back to the basics, my foundation, my first love.
• The media fast. Okay, I believe this really led to the shift in my blogging. The time away from the computer and media did shift the way I view my time. I have always tried to be me, to be real on my blogs, yet fell into the trap of getting just the right photo or just the right event to write about. True life is not just right and while I have been open about those areas as well, I really want to enjoy life and my time with my kids and not think “Oh, this would make a great blog post.” I want to and want my family to think, “This is a good time, a good memory.” It has been too easy for me to start structuring my life around my blog and not my blog around my life.

So, for now, I may write less often. But I will try to keep it worth your while to continue to visit my section of the blogosphere. Please excuse post that are more photos than word content. Please, say hi and leave a comment to let me know you are still there reading. Have a wonderful day!

Addicted

As you more than likely know, we brought home a sibling group of four in the beginning of 2015. We went from a household of three to a household of seven overnight. To say we were overwhelmed would be an understatement. But one of the first things we noticed was our son’s addiction to video games. He (Chief) was a month shy of 11 when we got him.

Now when we were told about the kids from CYFD, one of the things we were told was that he had been diagnosed with a learning disorder and he liked to play video games. “Okay, no problem,” we thought. However, the extent of it was not told to us. For the sake of this post, I am going to focus on the video game addiction and how it intertwined deep into his brain and personality. Socially he was awkward and behind. He was and still is a quiet kid. But when he did anything, draw, play it all centered around video games. He only drew video game related characters and scenes. He pretended (more like thought) he was in a video game. Seriously, it was strange and at times scary. We’ve all heard the stories of foster kids killing their foster parents. Well, those fears weren’t too far from home or our mids. To engage him in normal conversation was very hard. He hadn’t had much practice at it.

For the sake of everyone’s sanity we didn’t pull the plug on the video games right away, even though it was obvious that not only our second oldest son had a problem, but so did the other two. Our youngest soon got too used to watching videos, albeit educational. We did go through the gaming devices that they came with and got rid of the questionable games, apps, etc. We started to limit the screen time as well.

We also noticed that when the kids would get off of their devices or stop watching anything they really struggled transitioning back into reality. They would remain in a fog state for some time. The longer the screen time, the longer the fog time. It changed their attitudes and behaviors, never for the better. Today, they are very rarely on the computer for anything, unless at school. Video games are a thing of the past. Movies are only occasionally on the agenda. T.V., well, we don’t have one and don’t watch it online either.

Chief had the hardest time with the restrictions. Honestly, gaming was all he knew. No matter where they lived growing up, how little money they had he was never without an XBox or gaming device. In foster care he was able to stay up very late playing video games, watching inappropriate things without any supervision. It was a means of escape for him. He hated when we’d limit screen time or actually take away his devices as a consequence. He had withdrawals. But it was okay.  Not easy, but okay. We knew it was for his best interest.

Like I said we didn’t go cold turkey with him or the other kids, and at first, we watched way more movies than we ever did with our oldest two. Seriously, the movies started out as a way for all of us to be able to sit in the same room without chaos. But today after a long and hard, but definitely not the hardest battle, he has changed SO much. His sketch pads are filling with everyday items, happier storylines, and he’s even made up his own characters. His imagination has soared. When he plays he plays how a “normal” kids should play. I can’t remember when we have seen him act out video games. He reads. He creates. Best of all he engages. You should see his smile. Chief has really matured and grown into a funny, sincere young man. He knows he was addicted. He still wants to play from time to time but even though he hasn’t said it I believe that he is grateful we took the stance we did and took away screens of all sorts. (You can read a bit about our stance on screen time here)

A side note on learning disabilities and screen time. They do not and should not go hand in hand. It only hinders brain development and growth. What kids with LDs need are hands-on experiences, outdoor fun, books, engagement from adults, real life. They need to be challenged to learn, not pacified. They need to see what they are capable of in the real world, not some fantasy digital world. Though he still has his academic struggles, he has made great gains. He is learning to use his brain in ways he never has. He has even stated that his brain would hurt in the early days with us.

I also want to state that Chief was not the only person in our house addicted to electronics. His was just the worst. Yet God used it to reflect and show us our own shortcomings and pitfalls where electronics were concerned. Isn’t it funny how God does that? Sometimes our children are the perfect mirror.